Sunday, 17 February 2013

Vincent Goes Trucking - Episode 1: How It Started

Hello everybody, BSRaven here. Much appreciative of the sciencey one letting me do this gig on his space, and for putting up with me being confusing a lot of the time. This is going to be fairly silly, so buckle up, bring your beer and pretzels, and enjoy. Also, language warning, the lead character is prone to profanity.

March 18th, 2025:
Vincent Sanders,
Professional Schmuck

As if I got found Guilty...

Kate Davis,
Vincent's Older Sister,

 You're SURPRISED that happened, given how hard you punched them?

Yes. On the plus side, I should only get a fine, no?

I don't know, it was seven counts of assault and battery.

SEVEN?! I thought it was only two!

 How do you get two out of seven?

 ...Good question.

[Oh, hey there fourth wall. My name is Vincent Sanders, and my life so far: Born, raised, school, high school, emigrated to England with my sister Kate -- she's taken, by the way -- and just yesterday got found guilty of punching a local mob boss' seven sons. Don't recall any of that.]

[And that would be why I'm here... To keep him from completely losing his few remaining marbles when he inevitably gets to do bird.]


--Twenty minutes later--

[Vincent is stood in the dock, Kate is in the witness stand... It seems this is Vincent's sentencing hearing. An older man enters, his green eyes gazing at Vincent for a moment before sitting down, looking at the sheet in front of him.]

 [I bet he's a paedo.]

Generic Judge

Vincent Jebediah Sanders... You have been found guilty of seven counts of assault and battery, two counts of Actual Bodily Harm with a weapon--


 --and inciting racial hatred. Under normal circumstances, I would be have to give you a fine of £50,000 and ten years imprisonment... But as this is your first offence, I have an offer.

 P--Proceed, Y--Your Honour.

 If you can raise £1 million within two years through an activity of your choice, closely monitored by a parole officer, then I shall waive your sentence and allow you to keep your earnings. Do you accept?

[...Beats being some guy's prison bitch.] I do, Your Honour.

 [Oh god...]


[Vincent sits in a dusty office opposite a blonde wearing sunglasses... Clearly taller and stronger than our 'protagonist', he whimpers a little bit as he's asked a question.]

Geoffrey Messenger,

So tell me, Vincent... Why is someone as qualified as you applying for a shithole like mine?

Well, all my other job applications haven't worked out, so you're kind of the only thing stopping me from getting my ass in jail.

 I see... A million, right?


You got yourself a job, kiddo. I'll treat you like all the other rookies, starting with names: I know you're Vincent Jebediah Sanders, but now you oughta know that my name's Geoffrey Messenger. If you call me Geoff I'll smack you one, got it?

 Got it!

On top of that, here's a map and 100k to get yourself a truck. The way things work here, you start off based in one country and have to buy your way into other ones. To get the money to do that, you do runs in your available stomping grounds... A few countries start you off with a few others in your stomping grounds, but most of them don't. Got that?

(Glancing at the map) Got it. 100k to get a truck, I pick one country to start in, to get more places to haul shit to and from I gotta buy my way to an access pass by doing runs to raise money.

You learn fast. You've also gotta pay your own fines, your own repair fees, gas prices and upgrades for your truck. Anything left after that is your own cash.

Well okay...

I'll keep in touch down the phone. Now scram and go get yourself a ride.

 Got it, boss. (leaves)


[But that guy seriously scares me.]

-Some time later-

Trusty Bob,
Used Truck Salesman

Howdy there pardna. Couldn't help but notice ya wanderin' over from Geoff's place. You need a truck?

That, I do...

Well then come on inta mah place and take a looksee!


So here's where you guys come in. First things first: Pick one of the countries on the map below -

- But bear in mind that the following countries are 'linked':

-Spain + Portugal
-Switzerland + Italy
-Netherlands + Germany (Only if starting in Netherlands)
-Belgium + France (Only if starting in Belgium)
-Poland, Czech Republic + Austria

The UK is also available. This makes a full list of:

-Czech Republic
-United Kingdom

In addition, you guys get to choose Vincent's first truck.

The Runner, the cheapest truck there, and the weakest one too power-wise. It does have a reasonable ride and fuel tank though.

The Majestic, a jack of all trades and master of none. Fuel tank is the smallest out of the four that Vincent can afford with his 100k, and it's the most expensive truck of the lot.

The Swift, a reasonably-powerful truck with the biggest fuel tank. The ride is pretty dire though, so our 'hero' may complain a lot.

Or, last but not least, the Valiant. The most powerful truck that Vincent can currently afford. It has the same fuel tank size as the Runner, but isn't as efficient with its fuel, bear this in mind.

Choose his destiny, people. Vince is Goin' Truckin'.



  1. No. Go, take Valiant, crash in Germany, run over everything with brutal Teutonic efficiency. Then drink yourself dead with the stolen truck of beer. Or merely salvage horrible crash.

  2. The Swift, In Belgium/France. Look, at least you're not dead, Vince.

  3. The Swift (because its the least dorky-looking, no other reason), in Spain/Portugal. Blaze a trail from one end of Europe to the other!

  4. Swift, in Belgium. Having to drive through the country named after The Worst Swear Word In The Universe should be a humbling experience.

  5. Swift/UK.

    I demand suffering . <> .

    1. Swift/United Kingdom

      I'm certain that you'll repay me for this one.